Rage Against The Laundry Machine

Emotional Awareness Saves Energy

As we enter the colder months here in the Northern Hemisphere, seasonal chores prepare us for the swaddling, snuggling, and pursuit of hygge that define winter comfort. To that end, my wife asked me to fetch our vacuum-sealed winter blankets from storage and take them to the laundromat for cleaning. Our little top-loading washer isn’t up to the task.

Like a good husband, I grabbed my book and phone for the three-hour sojourn to the local Soaps'N'Suds, ready to place the burden of seasonal cleaning on the massive industrial washers and dryers. For the most part, things were uneventful. I read my new book, Shooting Up: A History of Drugs in Warfare by Lukasz Kamienski, and chatted with my good friend Greg Souders of Standard Jiu-Jitsu.

Greg and I were still on the phone when this story reached the crescendo that compelled me to share it with you. As we chatted, I was pulling blankets from the dryer and shaking them out to fold. On the second or third blanket, something unexpected fell out.

Men’s underwear. Not mine.

It happened instantly. Heat surged up my back, neck, and head so fast I thought my shirt might singe. Sweat poured. Greg’s voice faded into an underwater hum. My vision tunneled as if peering through a toilet paper tube. My heart pounded. My blood boiled. My muscles clenched.

Rage.

Luckily, I didn’t stay in that state for long. A little voice in my head pumped the brakes: “Hey, dummy, those were probably in the dryer when you put the blankets in.” My wife and I have been together a long time, and let me tell you—if she was done, I’d know. There’d be no sneaky business. She’d tell me straight to my face. That’s the kind of honesty you get when you marry a petite Swedish-Cuban.

I took a deep breath. Greg’s voice returned. I told him what had happened, and we had a good laugh.

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Overloading

Isn’t it funny how quickly a thought—a story we tell ourselves—can evoke such powerful emotions? And how those emotions can drive a full-body physiological response, firing up our deepest survival mechanisms? These kinds of reactions happen all the time, and not just with rage.

Emotions aren’t just “in your head”—they’re very real physical events happening in the body. Even if you’re not flooring the gas pedal (like in my moment of rage), you can still get stuck in emotional patterns that sap your energy—literally. Staying in states of agitation or “high idle” burns more fuel. Days, weeks, months, or even years of this can tax your mind and body, making you less efficient and effective.

Psychological overload has physical consequences because there’s no separation between the two. The line between psychology and physiology is fictional; they exist on a continuum within one connected system. To embody true performance longevity, we must understand and embrace this interconnectedness.

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Stopping the Spin Cycle

The first step to managing overload is recognizing when it’s happening. Too often, we only notice after things start to break down—trouble sleeping, mood swings, muscle tension. These are all signs that you’re stuck in a state of stress when you don’t need to be. Too much laundry in the drum, and the whole machine bounces around the mudroom.

Social cues also reveal when the spin cycle is out of control. Coping mechanisms can become habits, disrupting relationships with friends and family. Pay attention to loved ones who tell you you’re “off”—as long as they’ve shown they act in good faith.

One of the best ways to gain awareness and change your patterns is through feedback from family, friends, mentors, or counselors who can call you out and guide you with grace. Psychological and emotional support from others is invigorating and helps us reach our potential. After all, we’re social animals.

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Tools for Tuning In

Beyond community support, you can take steps on your own. One of the most effective ways is to get in touch with your stress response through breathing techniques. Here are two ways to get started:

At Rest:
Place your fingers on your pulse and breathe in slowly through your nose. Let the air leave your lungs naturally, but slow your exhale to make it longer than your inhale. Do this for five minutes. Does it make you feel more relaxed? How long can you make your exhale before it feels uncomfortable? This practice helps you tune into your body’s state.

Under Stress:
Take three breaths. On the third inhale, hold your breath and march in place until you need to breathe. Take two breaths, inhale, and repeat. Challenge yourself and notice your internal dialogue during the process. Over time, you’ll hear the “stress voices” in your mind and body more clearly.

Another surefire method? Put yourself in situations where you’re an absolute beginner. Confronting frustration, insecurity, and ineptitude will reveal things about yourself. When approached with a beginner’s mindset, humility becomes an antidote to emotional overload.

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Rinse and Repeat

These strategies are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to discovering the “dirty laundry” in your mind. Emotions are adaptive mechanisms meant to protect us from injury-psychological and physical. To make them work in our favor, we must practice—repeatedly.

There’s no substitute for reps.

If this sounds a bit “woo-woo” for someone who usually writes about physiology, let me assure you—it’s not. Or maybe it is. Woo-woo be damned, this stuff has real, tangible effects on performance. Whether stress builds up acutely or over the long haul, it takes its toll.

Can people succeed despite internal chaos? Yes, but it gets expensive over time. Eventually, the debt collector shows up. Don’t limit your potential to feel and perform at your best. Air out your laundry.

Thanks for reading,

Rob

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